swimming in miami
by Silverflare07
Summary: Grief does funny things to people. Even overnight internet sensations like Austin Moon. .Auslly. .Angst, you have been warned.


Well there's not much to say about this one shot. Except that, obviously, I don't own _Austin & Ally_. I also don't own _Kiss Me_ by No Doubt or _Swimming in Miami _by Owl City. This is supposed to be sad, I'm not usually really good at writing sad stuff though so I don't know how good it is. Hopefully you guys like it though!

Enjoy!

* * *

><p>It's late; his fans had wanted several different encores. All of which he'd been happy to provide for them. People finally want <em>more<em> of him. His career is finally just that; a career. He's on the radio, his face is on posters around the mall and other places where he's been known to perform, and Trish is in the middle of negotiations with a record company. He's going to give a concert, a real concert, and if it does well enough he'll have a record deal and a first album, featuring many of the songs that Ally has written for him over the past two years.

It's finally happening and it's amazing.

He's speeding down the highway, the top of his black convertible down so the wind can rush past them. The car had been a gift from his parents for both his 16th birthday and for his success in the music business. It had also been his father's way of apologizing for not believing in his son earlier. From beside him in the passenger seat, Ally turns the music on the radio up, letting out a cheer as she throws her hands up, clearly still on the same adrenaline high from the successful performance as Austin himself is. He glances over at the pretty brunette and smiles as she laughs out loud. She's positively glowing in the light of the full moon.

It's not just amazing, Austin realizes, it's perfect.

Then suddenly there's the screech of brakes, not Austin's, and Ally's laugh is suddenly a scream that makes Austin's heart stop. A force is shoving him to the side violently and there's the terrible, sickening sound of glass shattering and metal crunching together.

And then it's black.

-/-

The first thing he sees when he wakes up is Ally standing at his bedside, holding his hand.

He tries to smile at her and she returns it with a weak smile of her own. She reaches out and gently brushes his bangs back from his forehead. He closes his eyes and savors her warmth. He feels like she's his lifeline, his life support, and not the various machines he can feel attached to him. As long as Ally is there, no matter what's wrong, he'll be fine. That's comforting, because, while he's definitely groggy (probably due to something sliding into his body from one of the IVs), he's coherent enough to remember that he and his best friend were in a car crash. And car crashes are generally not very good.

He's about to ask Ally a question when the door opens and a doctor walks in. The doctor ignores the presence of the brunette and Austin is glad. He wants Ally to stay with him, gripping his hand, while the doctor tells him whatever news he needs to hear. The doctor asks him all the normal questions: his name, his address, if he can remember what happened. Things that have nothing to do with Austin's physical condition, but can tell the doctor most everything he needs to know about his mental one.

When the doctor finishes his verbal examination, Austin asks the one question he's not sure he wants to hear the answer to. His gaze flickers to Ally as he braces himself for the worst. She squeezes his hand and smiles reassuringly and suddenly it doesn't seem so bad.

-/-

It's actually not that bad. Austin has a broken arm and a minor concussion. He's going to be bruised and sore for a while, but all in all things could be much worse. He'll even be able to perform the concert that will _change his life_, although he may be too sore to do some of the more challenging dance moves.

He may be stuck in bed for the next few weeks, but he doesn't mind. It could be much worse and he knows this. That doesn't stop him from being bored out of his mind though.

He's sitting on his bed, leaning against his headboard with his arms wrapped around Dougie the Dolphin. Ally is sitting opposite him trying to encourage him to sing a little to keep his voice in shape.

"I don't want to sing, Ally. I'm tired."

Ally shakes her head, as if she's dealing with a small child rather than a 17-year-old boy. "Just one song Austin. You should really be doing vocal exercises every day since you won't get to make videos every week for a little while."

Austin knows she's right. But the pain medication is making him loopy and tired and all he wants to do is close his eyes and sleep for a week. "_Please_." He's whining, but at this point he really doesn't care.

His best friend sighs. "Okay," she concedes with a nod of her head. "But you're doing some vocal exercises when you wake up."

He nods as enthusiastically as he can. When Ally stands up and smooths out her skirt, Austin reaches out an arm and grabs her wrist. "Don't go." He whispers, but the combination of exhaustion and the pain medication makes his words slur.

He can see Ally smile gently at him through his half closed eyes. "Don't worry." He hears her tell him. "I'll be right here when you wake up."

He nods once or twice, before letting his eyes close completely and burying his face into Dougie, letting the scent of strawberries and vanilla surround him.

-/-

Dez comes to visit him a lot while he's bedridden. His other best friend distracts him from the fact that he's in bed because he has no choice by acting like Austin is lucky that he gets to sit around all day and do nothing. They play video games and shoot the small foam basketball at the miniature hoop that is stuck on Austin's closet door. They eat pieces of the life-sized chocolate Austin that is still in his closet (they've got nearly both of his arms eaten and sometimes Austin finds it weird, how delicious he and Dez find it).

"So I was thinking. Once I'm better, we should make another music video." Austin replies one afternoon as he and Dez hack through a mob of pixilated zombies.

"Uh, sure." Dez glances at the blonde out of the corner of his eye. "What song should we use?"

Austin shrugs. "I don't know. But I'm going to be stuck here for another two weeks. I'm sure Ally and I can write a new one."

Dez doesn't reply and Austin assumes he's just engrossed in the video game. They have plenty of time to talk about music videos once he has new song to sing. Dez was never particularly helpful to the song writing process anyways. For now Austin is just glad for the chance to hang with his best friend, even if he is stuck in his bed. He's really lucky to have friends like Dez and Ally who spend time with him otherwise he would probably be going stir crazy.

He hasn't seen much of Trish since he's accident, but he figures that's just because she's busy _not_ doing whatever her latest job is and getting things ready for his biggest concert ever.

-/-

Ally's laughter fills the room as he tears another page out of the book on his lap and turns it into a ball to throw across the room. He mock glares at her from his bed and she sticks her tongue out at him in retaliation before hitting a few random notes on his keyboard.

"Oh shut up." He pouts, crossing his arms over his chest and attempting to look insulted (which, he kind of is a little bit). "This would be way easier if you would just help me."

Ally shakes her head, still laughing at him a little. "Oh no. This time you're going to write a song on your own."

Austin lets his head fall back, not even wincing as it comes in contact with his headboard. "This is hopeless. I can't do it without you!"

Ally looks at him with something like sadness in her eyes, but Austin is too frustrated with his current predicament to worry about it. "I'm letting you use my book." She points to the leather bound book with a giant A on the cover that rests open on Austin's lap. "That should be help enough."

The singer lifts his head up long enough to glare at his song writing friend before letting it fall back against his headboard once more. "I'd be sunk if I didn't have you around, Ally-cat. And we both know it."

She gives him another look he can't quite identify before pointing at her songbook once again. "Well, just in case, you should try anyways."

Austin shrugs and starts flipping through the book at random. He still can't believe that Ally is not only letting him touch her book, but letting him look through it and write in it. He makes his stomach do an odd kind of flip that should probably be unpleasant, but is actually really awesome. He catches sight of a doodle in the top corner of one of the pages. It reads _Ally (heart)s_ but the name underneath the heart is scratched out, making it almost illegible. Austin thinks he might just be able to see his name through the mess of scribbles though and his stomach does that unpleasant but totally awesome flip again.

"Okay." He smiles at the brunette girl before him. "I'll give it another try."

-/-

Austin stands in front of the mirror, examining his chest and face closely. He'd, naturally, had several bruises and a few nasty cuts that had had the potential to leave scars. For the first week or so, Austin had avoided looking in the mirror. It just wasn't fun to see the dark purple spots all over his body or the angry red of the cuts that stood out against his normally white skin.

After a shower yesterday, however, he'd noticed that the bruises were almost completely gone. He's really just inspecting for any scars now. Because no matter how many people might tell him that they look cool, scars don't really fit in with the whole 'pop star' image that Austin has spent the last two years building.

"You look fine, silly."

He turns around to face Ally, running a hand through his hair. "I know. I just…like to remind himself."

Ally smiles and laughs quietly. "No. You were checking to see if you had any scars." _Damn_, sometimes he thinks that girl might be in his head. She always knows what he's thinking. "But you don't. The doctor even told you that you probably wouldn't have any. At least not any that were visible unless someone was nose to nose with you."

Austin turns back to the mirror and smiles at his reflection. "Yeah, I know. But it's still nice to _see_ that."

Suddenly Ally's head appears in the mirror, hovering over his shoulder, her hands on his shoulders to steady herself. He knows she must be standing on her tiptoes, because even in heels he's still a good foot taller than her. "Are you done admiring yourself yet?"

The blonde laughs and smiles at his friend's reflection. "Hey now! I need to make sure I stay sexy for my fans!" He flashes her his trademark smirk.

Ally rolls her eyes, but she doesn't move from her current position. "Even with a few scars," she whispers, her breath hot against Austin's neck and it makes him shiver. "You'd still be sexy."

Austin face flushes at her words and he looks up at her reflection, brown eyes peeking through his bangs, smiling shyly. "Thanks, Ally."

-/-

He's running through the Mall of Miami food court, headed in the direction of his favorite store, _Sonic Boom_. He's got no reason to rush, nothing is wrong, but it's the first time his mother (who has been extremely overcautious ever since he came home from the hospital) has let him out of the house on his own and he just loves the feeling of his muscles straining as he pushes his body to go as fast as it possibly can.

He runs into Trish, literally, about halfway there. They both sprawl onto the ground and Austin's face lights up at the sight of his friend, who he hasn't seen in nearly three weeks. "Trish!"

She looks awful. She's exhausted and her eyes are red, from lack of sleep Austin figures. She must be working really hard on this concert. It's in a few days and Austin can already feel the buzz of excitement settling just under his skin. "Where have you been?"

She tries to smile, but it doesn't quite reach her eyes. "Oh, you know. Just around. Where are you going?"

"To _Sonic Boom_. My mom is _finally _letting me out of the house. Ally and I haven't made any progress on my song after being cooped up in my room. So I'm hoping being back in the practice room will help!"

Trish is staring at him like he's got two heads and he realizes that he's probably talking a mile-a-minute, but he can't help himself because he's just really happy to finally be out of his house and he's going to see Ally, which definitely increases his happy mood. "O-kay…I-I have to go."

He's too excited to pay attention to his friend's odd tone of voice. "Got more manger-y stuff for my concert to take care of?"

"Sure." Trish nods, her curls bouncing in time with her movements. "Lets go with that."

And then she's gone before Austin has a chance to ask her what she meant. He shrugs it off though. Trish has always been a little odd, not as odd as Dez, but still odd nonetheless. He starts off towards the music store again, this time at a more leisurely pace. He can't wait to start writing the song with Ally, but lately she's been telling him he needs to try writing lyrics without her help so he figures he should probably try to come up with something before he gets to the store.

By the time he reaches the glass doors, however, all he's really got is a huge grin on his face because he knows Ally is in there waiting for him.

-/-

"Something is seriously wrong!" She hisses at the red haired boy in front of her. "He shouldn't be this happy! And he _definitely_ shouldn't be seeing her."

"_Seeing _her?" He looks, and feels, more concerned then he ever has before in his life. "He can't possibly still be seeing her."

"_Still_!" She throws her hands in the air and Dez winces because he almost thinks she might hit him. "Why didn't you tell me this was happening?"

"Because! You were hurting and I-I didn't want to make it worse!"

Trish's eyes soften. "Well, thanks for that, I suppose. But seriously…what are we going to do about this?"

Dez shrugs and when he speaks next Trish finally gets a chance to see the genius behind the crazy personality she's always come to associate with the taller boy.

"We try to make him see the truth."

"And," she sounds nervous and perhaps a little bit like she might cry, "if that doesn't work?"

Dez shrugs, looking troubled. "Then we support him as best we can."

-/-

Ally never works in the store any more. She's always there when Austin visits, like normal, but she's never working. She's either at the piano or sitting on one of the benches up front. Sometimes she's even behind the counter, but she's never actually _working_. She leaves it all up to her dad, which Austin doesn't think is fair. Yes, the older gentleman may have occasionally left his daughter with more than she could handle, and yes he may have been a bit ridiculous to refuse to hire another employee ever since Ally had been old enough to start working, but Austin doesn't think it's fair that she just stops working all together. It's taking a strain of her father too, he can tell. Lester Dawson looks like he's lost weight and there are bags under his eyes so dark that Austin is kind of concerned about if he's getting any sleep, like at all.

Whenever he brings it up with his friend though, she just shrugs. "He's got to learn to handle it without me."

She's been saying that a lot too. About her father, about him, even about Trish. He doesn't understand why she's suddenly so insistent on all of them managing their lives without her help. It had never been an issue before. But every time he asks her about it she just smiles softly and distracts him with something random.

They're in the practice room today, Ally once again not working and Austin trying, with no luck, to come up with something that sounds like a halfway decent song. His head drops down onto the piano in frustration. "I am never going to be able to do this."

He feels Ally settle down next to him on the bench, her shoulder and thigh pressing against his. The sensation gives him butterflies, but he's too frustrated from his lack of songwriting progress to worry about it. "You can do this, Austin. I know you can."

He looks up her, his brown eyes pleading. "No I can't. I've never even been able to write a good song until I met you! And even now, I only just kind of help a little, sometimes."

Ally smiles and places a comforting hand on his shoulder. "I know that's not true. Remember your very first song, _Double Take_?"

He scoffs. "You mean _your _first song." He knows that Ally has forgiven him for what happened over two years ago, but he can't help but feel a little guilty whenever it's mentioned.

"No," she shakes her head, "_your_ first song. The only thing you heard me singing in the practice room was the chorus. Everything else you came up with. On your own."

Austin's eyes widen in realization as her words sink in. "You're right!" He spins to face her, a huge smile breaking out. "I really did write that song! Well some of it at least!"

Ally's eyes are twinkling, the happiness shining through. "See? You can write a song. You just need a springboard for your ideas. Something to get you started." She gestures to her songbook that is resting on top of the piano. "That's why I'm letting you have this."

"Thanks, Ally." He pulls her close to him, wrapping her in a hug that makes him feel like nothing in the world could possibly go wrong because _there_, she's wrapped in his arms. "You always seem to be around when I need you the most. And you always know exactly what I need to hear."

She pulls back from the hug and the sadness is back in her eyes. "Well," she brushes his bangs out of his face and smiles softly, almost sadly, and Austin isn't sure why. "Right now you really need me. So here I am."

-/-

The concert is in full swing and Austin can feel the energy that surrounds him as he jumps around on stage singing his heart out. It flows between him and the audience, bouncing back and forth, and growing stronger until the blonde feels like he could reach out and touch it. This is the kind of thing that Austin has always dreamed of and when he looks off to the side and sees Dez, Trish, and Ally smiling and cheering for him, he knows he's officially _done_ it.

He finishes _Not a Love Song_, his breathing heavy. He's still a little sore so he's clearly going to have to take it easy for the last song. But it's all worth it as the cheering almost doubles in volume. "Thank you, Miami!" He calls out and the screaming gets even louder. He hears his name and lots of _I love you_s. he thinks he might even hear one of them in Ally's voice and that makes the whole evening pretty much perfect. "For my last song I'm going to go back to what started it all." The lights on stage dim and he can feel the audience holding it's collective breath as they wait.

"_Flip a switch  
>Turn on the lightning…"<em>

He finishes the song, wincing a little as his sore muscles protest his last dance move. A smile quickly overtakes the grimace as the crowd starts chanting his name. He throws his hands over his head and basks in the glow of the stage light and his fans' adoration.

"Austin!"

He turns behind him to see Ally running onto the stage. "Ally!" He calls, pure and unadulterated joy clear in his voice. Trish and Dez are visible just behind her, both looking horrified. Austin chuckles because he knows Ally is going to be pretty horrified too, once she realizes that she's running out in front of thousands of people and who knows how many cameras. He doesn't mind though. He wraps her in his arms and the crowd goes, not silently exactly, but the noise level decreases so significantly, he can hear the lack of sound ringing in his ears.

She pulls back suddenly and looks up at him, almost shyly. Before he can ask her what's up she starts singing, the microphone that had been clipped to his shirt picking up her voice and broadcasting it through out the concert hall.

"_Kiss me,  
>Beneath the milky twilight.<br>Lead me,  
>Out on the moonlit floor<em>."

The whole audience and Austin have been stunned into silence by the girl's actions. This isn't even a song they had written together. But now he's almost positive that Ally had been one of the many _I love you_s that he'd heard. She'd been the only one that mattered, obviously, because he was finally ready to admit to himself, to her, and to everyone at the concert, that he loved her too. He probably always had. But love is a big word, too big and too powerful for a fifteen year old. So he'd locked it away, kept it hidden. Except now, she's beautiful and right in front of him, singing of all things, and he doesn't want to keep it hidden anymore.

He sweeps her back into his arms and as she breathes out the last line, one more barely audible _"so kiss me…_" he does just that. The silence grows thicker somehow, as if the audience has been stunned into something past silence. He hears Trish off stage crying out in distress and he knows she's probably worried about what such a public display of affection will do to his career chances, but he's too wrapped up in Ally to care.

When he pulls back finally, there's a sparkle in Ally's eyes that he knows mirrors his own. "That was amazing, Ally! But what about your stage fright!"

"What are you talking about Austin?" Ally's tone is casual, like there weren't thousands of people watching, like she's never had a problem singing in front of a bunch of cute stuffed animals, let alone actual living breathing people. "I've _always _been able to sing in front of you."

At her words he smiles so brightly that it feels like he's swallowed the sun.

He's too ecstatic to think about how dangerous that metaphor really is.

-/-

He and his friends return to his house after the concert. It's late because Trish had spent an odd amount of time conversing with the record company after the concert. But it doesn't matter, because Austin is starring at a contract with his signature on it, one that promises him a three record deal and national tour. He's surprised to find both his mother and father waiting up for him, but he brushes it off, flashing the contract at them and grinning. "We did it!" He cries out in happiness. "We really did it!"

His mother doesn't look nearly as enthusiastic as Austin thinks she should, neither does his father, but Austin had kind of expected that. He's supporting Austin's dream now, but he still thinks it's a risky business to be getting in to. "Sweetie," his mom pats the space on the couch next to her, "you need to sit down, please."

He ignores her, his defenses immediately going up. "You're not going to tell me, I'm not allowed to do this…are you?"

His mother shakes his head, her blonde hair circling her like a crown. "No, of course not. We just need to talk to you about Ally."

"Ally?" His eyes slide over to where the brunette is standing a little ways off to the side of him. "What about her? She's coming with me, obviously."

His mother looks pained and his breath catches in his throat. "Oh, Austin, sweetie." His mother stands up, holding out her arms for a hug that he doesn't return. "Ally isn't going with you."

Austin stays rooted to the spot, not believing what he's hearing. "What are you talking about? She has to come with me. I would never have made it this far without her and I definitely won't make it the rest of the way if she's not there."

His mother, sensing that he's not going to walk over for the hug she thinks he so desperately needs, takes the initiative to move towards him. "Ally will always be with you in _here_." She places her hand on his chest, directly over his heart. "She just won't be with you in person."

He doesn't understand what's happening. Why is his mother so insistent on this? And why is he the only one fighting it? Haven't they realized that it's not just his dream. It's _Ally's_ too. Even more than that, it's not his dream if Ally's not doing it with him, not anymore. He can feel tears of frustration well up, as if he's six years old and his mother won't buy him the new _Power Rangers _action figure he wants so badly. But this can't happen. Not like this. Not after they've worked so hard to get to where they are. "I-is this because Ally and I want to be together? Because I swear! Nothing will happen. I _love_ Ally and I would never do anything stupid or hurt her. You have to believe that! You've been telling me I liked her since the day I met her!"

"Austin." His father finally speaks up, his voice more serious and strained than when he used to tell his son he had a billion in one chance at making it in the music industry. "Son," he also looks so sad, so heartbreakingly sad. "Ally _can't_ go with you."

"W-why?"

"Because she's dead!"

He turns on his heel to stare at Trish. The smaller girl is glaring at him, her hands balled up into fists at her side and tears starting to trickle down her cheeks. Dez slaps a hand over her mouth, looking horrified, as if Trish wasn't supposed to say anything. Trish rips herself away from the red head's hand, literally growling as she does so.

"No! Don't try and keep me quiet. We've tried being nice, we've tried being gentle. But it's the truth! She's dead and he can't keep acting like everything's okay! Because it's not!" She gestures to Austin. "And _this_ is _not_ healthy!" She breaks down and Dez wraps her in a hug and she's too overwhelmed to even be annoyed at the contact.

"No…" Austin whispers, his eyes widening. "That's not true!" He's yelling as he spins back around to face his parents. "That's not true!" His eyes immediately turn to the petite songwriter who is standing in a corner of the room, looking so sad that Austin nearly forgets how to breath. "Ally…" His eyes are begging her to speak up, to tell everyone how ridiculous they're acting.

But for the first time since he's met her, his awkward but adorable best friend has nothing to say.

-/-

Austin hates this place. It's cold, even though it's supposed to be summer in Miami, and dark. It's filled with the kind of silence that is suffocating and so incredibly loud that it hurts Austin's ears to not hear it. He's never been to a cemetery before and he doesn't want to start now. Not for this. Not for _her_.

Dez and Trish are standing a little ways behind him, trying to give him as much space and privacy as possible, but also ready to be there for their friend as he finally faces reality. He really appreciates them being here. This is something that he wants to do alone but at the same time he knows he needs his friends to be there for him. He thinks that they get that and he's so thankful for them. He turns his gaze to the headstone before him.

_Cassandra L. Dawson  
>July 1971 - January 2003<br>May the music speak to you, through you, and within you_

It gets harder to breath as he takes in the words engraved on the marble stone, seemingly untouched by its years in the graveyard. Then his gaze slides over to the smaller tombstone resting next to it and he forgets to breath completely.

_Allyson M. Dawson  
>November 1995 – May 2013<br>The little sun that watched proudly as the Moon reflected her light and warmed the world_

And there's nothing left for Austin to do but fall to his knees and cry.

-/-

It's raining. Well, pouring is probably a more accurate term. But Austin has never really been good with words anyways. He's at the beach because, even though Ally used to hate it, they'd had some really great memories here and he just needs to be alone right now. It's dark and raining so hard that he can't see five feet in front of him, let alone the sky to see what time it is. Ever since Austin had gotten back from the graveyard yesterday, he'd been so zoned out, alternating between crying himself to sleep and sleeping poorly, that he can't even tell what time of day it is. He remembers the clock in his car saying twelve, but for all he knows it could be midnight. Or it could be the afternoon. It's too dark. And Austin is too sad. He just doesn't care.

It's like the rain is washing away the protective haze his mind had created for him. Memories he couldn't remember before, that his mind wouldn't _let_ him remember before, are all coming back. At this point, all he can do is let them come and cry silently as they do.

_A strange haze and an intense pain. The sound of voices off to one side fighting with something, telling it to hold on, to come back, to not give up. Then silence until: "It's too late. She's gone." Ally? Are they talking about Ally? Where could she have possibly gone? They can't mean…can they?_

Austin shudders and wraps his arms around himself, rocking back and forth, whimpering as the memories continue to assault him.

"_Austin you should have this." Trish shoves something into his hands. It's Ally's songwriting book. "She'd-she'd want you to have it." Her voice is thick with unshed tears. "I've got to go. I'm going to get in touch with the record company about the concert and everything that's happened. After that I-I'm going to need some time for myself, okay? Take-take good care of Ally." She's gesturing to the book and his whole world feels like it's falling apart._

He doesn't understand how he could have lied to himself and not realized he was doing it. Hadn't realized how far his mind would go to protect itself.

"_Hey now! I need to make sure I stay sexy for my fans." He smirks at the empty space just over his shoulder. There's silence for a few seconds before he ducks his head, hiding a blush. Then he's back to looking at the emptiness, a shy smile gracing his features. "Thanks, Ally."_

No one had stopped him because no one had realized it had been happening. Not right away at least. They'd all assumed he'd been dealing with his grief in his own, albeit sort of odd, way. They hadn't realized it was something unhealthy. Not until…

_The crowd is still cheering and he spins around to face Trish and Dez. Except he's looking a few feet ahead of them. "Ally!" More silence and then he's singing. Only it's not an original song and his voice is high and girly. And he's wrapping his arms around thin air. He sings "so kiss me" one last time, still in that odd pitch, before bringing his lips down to meet absolutely nothing. And the audience is stunned into silence as they watch the nearly famous boy come undone, on stage and under bright and harsh lighting, for all the world to see._

And then they couldn't ignore it. And he's been ripped from the happy, safe, and comfortable world his mind had created and thrust back into reality with such force that it left skid marks on his knees and his heart in a million different pieces.

_He feels Trish and Dez walk up to him, both placing a hand on one of his shoulders in comfort. He raises his head and reaches out to touch the word 'Moon' on Ally's tombstone, fingers tracing over the capital M. "Is that-is that supposed to be me?" He chokes out through his tears. "You were such a huge part of Ally's life, her world, and her dreams. She wouldn't have been the person she was without you. Mr. Dawson-he insisted that that saying should be on her tombstone. So people would always remember how wonderful you helped make her." _

He takes a shuddering breath as he completely runs out of tears, for the time being. He opens his mouth and some of the lyrics to the song he has been writing in between periods of dreamless sleep come tumbling out of his mouth. Although the rain is so loud he can barely hear them over the roaring of it in his ears.

"_If you're awake in this awful downpour  
>Then struggle free and paddle out the cellar door."<em>

"I told you you could do it without me."

He turns his head to the side to find Ally sitting next to him, completely untouched by the rain around them. And she's in a long white dress because his mind really is just that cliché. "W-why?"

Ally smiles sadly at him. "You needed me more than anyone else. And you needed time to learn to handle it without me."

He faces the ocean once again, even though he can't see it. "I love you." He tells her even though she's just a figment of his imagination.

"I know."

"And you loved me." It's not a question. He knows it's the truth and he only hates himself a little for not doing anything about it sooner.

"I know."

He turns face her. "What am I going to-" But she's gone. Because he knows the truth now. The spell has been broken and his mind isn't dumb enough to think it can make him fall for the same trick twice. He sighs, leaning back on his hands and turning his face skyward, letting the rain wash away the tear tracks on his cheeks. He knows that even though his mind was trying to protect him, to show him how to manage on his own, without the girl who'd always held a piece of his heart, that it was wrong. He _can _do this. But not without her.

But he remembers his mother's words as she'd placed her hand over his heart and he can just barely feel the ghost like touch of a hand covering his own and he realizes that it's _okay_, because he won't ever _really_ have to.

* * *

><p>Well, um, there it is. I don't usually write angst so I'm not particularly good it, but hopefully this came out okay.<p>

Let me know what you guys think! I really appreciate feedback, especially on stuff like this, stuff that I don't usually write very often.


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